How Grandparents and Grandchildren Are Really Connecting Today According to New Research

Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis are taking a close, detailed look at something most families experience but rarely analyze: the everyday conversations between grandparents and grandchildren. While many studies have already shown that intergenerational relationships can be beneficial for both older adults and younger people, far less attention has been paid to what those generations actually talk about, how often they connect, and how these conversations differ across race, gender, and generations.

This new research offers one of the most comprehensive looks yet at how modern grandparent–grandchild communication works and why it matters.

A Long-Running Study Enters the Grandparent Years

The research builds on the St. Louis Personality and Aging Network (SPAN), a long-term study that began in 2007. SPAN originally followed around 1,600 middle-aged adults, tracking personality, aging, and social well-being over time. As the years passed, many of these participants transitioned into becoming grandparents.

Today, the study continues with approximately 500 participants, now firmly in their grandparent years. This transition provided researchers with a rare opportunity: to examine grandparenting not as a snapshot, but as a developmental life stage that unfolds over time.

Graduate student Mary Cox, who led much of the recent analysis, became particularly interested in how major cultural and technological changes of the 21st century might have reshaped these family interactions. Unlike previous generations, today’s grandparents often live farther away from their grandchildren but remain highly accessible thanks to mobile phones, texting, and digital communication platforms.

Why Conversation Content Matters

Previous research has already established that strong intergenerational bonds can support emotional health, reduce loneliness among older adults, and provide guidance and stability for younger generations. What was missing, however, was a deeper understanding of the content and quality of those interactions.

Instead of simply asking whether grandparents and grandchildren stay in touch, the research team wanted to know:

What topics come up most often?
Do these topics differ based on race or gender?
How do today’s conversations compare to what grandparents remember from their own childhoods?
Do these conversations influence how grandparents view their role in shaping the future?

To answer these questions, the researchers designed a detailed survey focused specifically on the grandparenting experience, something that has rarely been studied in this level of detail before.

What Grandparents Talk About Most

The findings, now published in the journal Research in Human Development, reveal clear patterns in the types of conversations grandparents have with their grandchildren.

Common topics include:

School and education
Jobs and career aspirations
Friendships and social relationships
Everyday life updates
Social issues and broader cultural change

Importantly, these conversations were not just casual check-ins. Researchers found that many discussions were closely linked to grandparents’ sense of social contribution, including how optimistic they feel about the future and whether they believe they are helping shape the next generation’s worldview.

Gender Differences in Grandparent Conversations

One of the most consistent findings involved gender differences. Across the board, grandmothers reported talking with their grandchildren more frequently than grandfathers.

Grandmothers were also more likely to discuss:

Jobs and work
Friends and relationships
Social change
Race and racism

This pattern may be partly explained by demographics, as women tend to live longer and therefore spend more years in the grandparent role. However, cultural expectations also play a role. Women are often seen as the keepers of family stories, values, and traditions, and this appears to extend into their conversations with younger generations.

Race and Cultural Context Shape the Conversation

The study also uncovered meaningful differences based on race, particularly when comparing Black and white grandparents.

Black grandparents reported talking about race, racism, and identity more frequently than their white counterparts. This reflects long-standing cultural practices in many Black families, where elders play an important role in preparing younger generations to navigate a society shaped by institutional racism.

These conversations are not limited to parents alone. Grandparents and other community elders often contribute personal experiences, historical context, and practical guidance that help grandchildren understand both challenges and resilience.

At the same time, researchers caution against oversimplifying these differences. White grandparents may still discuss social and political issues, but they may label or interpret those conversations differently. Future research aims to explore these nuances more carefully.

How Today’s Conversations Compare to the Past

Participants were also asked to reflect on how their conversations with grandchildren compare to what they remember discussing with their own grandparents.

The contrast was striking. Most participants reported far more frequent and open communication with their grandchildren than they experienced growing up. Several factors help explain this shift:

People are living longer, allowing for extended grandparent–grandchild relationships.
Families are more geographically dispersed, increasing reliance on digital communication.
Cultural norms around emotional openness and family involvement have evolved.

Text messages, phone calls, and other digital tools turned out to be the most common ways grandparents and grandchildren stay in touch today. Even when conversations don’t happen in person, the benefits still appear to be strong.

Why These Conversations Matter for Well-Being

The research highlights that grandparenting is not just a background family role. For many older adults, it is a central and meaningful part of life.

Regular conversations with grandchildren were associated with:

A stronger sense of purpose
More positive feelings about the future
A feeling of contributing to something beyond oneself

From the grandchildren’s perspective, these interactions can provide emotional support, guidance, and exposure to family history and values. Even simple conversations can reinforce a sense of belonging across generations.

What Researchers Want to Explore Next

So far, the study reflects only one side of the relationship: the grandparents’ perspective. The next phase of research aims to include grandchildren themselves, capturing how they experience these conversations and what they find most meaningful.

Researchers also want to explore:

Who initiates contact more often, grandparents or grandchildren
How the direction of communication affects relationship quality
Whether strong grandparent relationships influence long-term outcomes in grandchildren’s lives

These future studies could help clarify how intergenerational communication shapes development, values, and well-being over time.

The Bigger Picture of Intergenerational Connection

This research adds to a growing body of evidence showing that staying connected across generations benefits both younger and older adults. In an era when families are often spread across cities, states, or even countries, technology has become a powerful tool for maintaining these bonds.

The takeaway is simple but meaningful: regular contact matters, regardless of whether it happens face-to-face or through a screen. A phone call or text message can still strengthen relationships, share wisdom, and support emotional health on both ends.

As this study shows, the role of grandparents remains deeply relevant—and their conversations with grandchildren continue to shape how families pass knowledge, values, and care from one generation to the next.

Research Reference:
Intergenerational Conversations and Social Well-Being: How Race and Gender Shape Grandparent-Grandchild Discussions
https://doi.org/10.1080/15427609.2025.2586919