160 Funny Jokes For Kids (Includes Knock Knock Jokes, Dad Jokes and One Liners)
Kids have a natural knack for humor, and nothing lights up their day like a good laugh. Whether you’re looking to add some giggles to a long car ride, brighten up a rainy afternoon, or just want to hear those sweet sounds of belly laughs, we’ve got you covered.
This collection of jokes, tailored for kids is packed with chuckle-worthy knock-knock jokes, punny dad jokes, and clever one-liners that are sure to bring smiles to little faces—and probably get a few laughs from the grown-ups too!
So, get ready to unleash the fun because these jokes are guaranteed to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
Let’s dive into the joy and start laughing!
Funny Jokes For Kids [Our Top Picks]
What do you call an old computer that sings?
A-dell!
Why was the music teacher in trouble?
Because she kept getting into treble!
Why do soccer players do well in school?
Because they know how to use their heads!
Why do fish never do well in school?
Because they’re always swimming in schools but never actually learn!
Why was the basketball court wet?
Because people were dribbling on it!
Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days?
Because they’re a little shady!
Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the waters!
Why did the robot go on a diet?
Because it had too many bytes!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn’t have the guts!
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
How much did the pirate pay for his earrings?
A buccaneer!
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they always use honeycombs!
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear!
What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
Why are pirates great singers?
Because they can hit the high seas!
What did Mars say to Saturn?
Give me a ring sometime!
What did the football say to the punter?
I get a kick out of you!
What did one Christmas tree say to another?
Lighten up!
Why are dragons never good at telling jokes?
Because they always crack up!
What did one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
Why did the pirate go to school?
To improve his arrr-ticulation!
What do you call a vampire who likes to bake?
Count Spatula!
Why was the math book always worried?
Because it had too many problems!
Why did the smartphone need glasses?
Because it lost all its contacts!
What is a snake’s favorite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he wanted a light snack!
What do you call a potato that loves watching sports?
A spectator!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
Because they put the petal to the metal!
Why did the skeleton go to the Halloween party alone?
Because he had no body to go with!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker?
Frosty buns!
Knock Knock Jokes For Kids
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
- Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cow says.
- Cow says who?
- No silly, cow says moo!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Boo.
- Boo who?
- Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Atch.
- Atch who?
- Bless you!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Banana.
- Banana who?
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Banana.
- Banana who?
- Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Orange.
- Orange who?
- Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Olive.
- Olive who?
- Olive you and I miss you!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Harry.
- Harry who?
- Harry up, it’s cold out here!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Ice cream.
- Ice cream who?
- Ice cream if you don’t let me in!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Annie.
- Annie who?
- Annie way you can let me in?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Boo-hoo.
- Boo-hoo who?
- Why are you crying?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Owl.
- Owl who?
- Owl be seeing you later!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Dishes.
- Dishes who?
- Dishes the police, open up!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Leaf.
- Leaf who?
- Leaf me alone!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Wood.
- Wood who?
- Wood you like to hear another joke?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Butter.
- Butter who?
- Butter let me in or I’ll freeze!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
- Lettuce go outside and play!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Tank.
- Tank who?
- You’re welcome!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Wanda.
- Wanda who?
- Wanda hang out with me?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Canoe.
- Canoe who?
- Canoe come out to play?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Beets.
- Beets who?
- Beets me, I forgot the punchline!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Turnip.
- Turnip who?
- Turnip the volume, I love this song!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Nacho.
- Nacho who?
- Nacho cheese, get your own!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Broccoli.
- Broccoli who?
- Broccoli doesn’t have a last name!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Lettuce.
- Lettuce who?
- Lettuce be friends forever!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Candy.
- Candy who?
- Candy come out to play?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cereal.
- Cereal who?
- Cereal-ously, open the door!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Cheddar.
- Cheddar who?
- Cheddar late than never!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Bean.
- Bean who?
- Bean a while since I last saw you!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Berry.
- Berry who?
- Berry nice to meet you!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Kiwi.
- Kiwi who?
- Kiwi can be friends forever!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Hal.
- Hal who?
- Hal will you know if you don’t open the door?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Yule.
- Yule who?
- Yule never know unless you open up!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Fig.
- Fig who?
- Fig-ure out how to open this door!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Pasta.
- Pasta who?
- Pasta sauce is delicious!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Peanut.
- Peanut who?
- Peanut you wanted a joke?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Kale.
- Kale who?
- Kale you hear me now?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Shelby.
- Shelby who?
- Shelby coming around the mountain when she comes!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Thistle.
- Thistle who?
- Thistle be the best joke you hear today!
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Water.
- Water who?
- Water you doing right now?
Knock, knock.
- Who’s there?
- Olive.
- Olive who?
- Olive you more than you know!
Dad Jokes For Kids
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite!
Why was the broom late to the meeting?
It swept in at the last minute!
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
How do you catch a squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of socks?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
Why are there fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of school!
What did the ocean say to the shore?
Nothing, it just waved!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?
A bah-humbug!
Why did the music teacher go to jail?
She got caught with too many notes!
Why are frogs so happy?
Because they eat whatever bugs them!
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mother was a wafer so long!
How does a train eat?
It goes chew-chew!
What did one hat say to the other?
You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
Why don’t some fish play piano?
Because you can’t tuna fish!
Why did the computer go to the dance?
To find a byte to eat!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
What’s a pirate’s favorite exercise?
The plank!
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
Because she always runs away from the ball!
What do you get when you cross a computer and a lifeguard?
A screen saver!
Why did the scientist take a nap?
To recharge his brain cells!
What did the pencil say to the paper?
Write on!
What do you call a vampire who likes to bake?
Count Spatula!
Why was the cookie sad?
Because its mother was a wafer so long!
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Why did the Easter egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
Why do mummies love holidays?
Because they’re always wrapped up in fun!
Why don’t skeletons fight back?
Because they’re spineless!
What did the turkey say to the computer?
Google, Google!
What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Boo-berry pie!
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
You might think it’s R, but his first love be the C!
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
What do you call a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite!
Why don’t some fish play piano?
Because you can’t tuna fish!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker?
Frosty buns!
One Liner Jokes For Kids
Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? He needed some space.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending me cookies.
The rotation of the earth really makes my day.
I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store, does that make you an iWitness?
I’m friends with all electricians. We have a good current connection.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Why don’t skeletons fight back? Because they don’t have a spinal cord to support them.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
The man who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a seasoned veteran.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Pilgrims!
I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen—I can feel it.
I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
Velcro: what a rip-off!
I once got fired from a canned juice company. Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
I used to be a bus driver, but I lost my job. They told me I was driving people away.
The guy who invented the door knocker won the No-bell prize.
If you boil a funny bone, you get a laughing stock.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
My first job was at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a few days off.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue; I can’t put it down.
I don’t trust people who do acupuncture—they’re backstabbers.
I told my suitcases there would be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.
I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Why don’t skeletons use cell phones? They don’t have any body to talk to.
