The Best Long Jokes You Can Ever Think Of
Laughter is the best medicine, but what if we told you that the dose could last a little longer?
These jokes below are like a good novel; they draw you in, build anticipation, and deliver a payoff that’s worth the wait. Whether you’re looking to entertain at your next gathering or just want to enjoy a hearty chuckle on your own, we’ve curated some of the best long jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and maybe even give your abs a workout.
So, sit back, relax, and get ready to dive into some of the most brilliantly crafted humor you can think of.
Top-Rated Long Jokes
1. The Talking Dog
A man sees a sign in front of a house: “Talking Dog for Sale.”
He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The man walks around the house and asks the dog, “Can you talk?”
“Yep,” the dog replies.
“So, what’s your story?”
The dog looks up and says, “Well, I discovered my ability to talk when I was young. I wanted to help humanity, so I joined the CIA.”
“I spent years traveling around the world, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders because no one ever suspected a talking dog. I was awarded numerous medals.”
“After a while, I got tired of the jet-setting life and retired to start a family.”
The man is amazed and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
The owner says, “Ten dollars.”
The man is stunned. “Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why so cheap?”
The owner replies, “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
2. The Perfect Man
A man dies and goes to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greets him and says, “Welcome to heaven. To enter, you must answer one question: what was the best thing you did on Earth?”
The man thinks for a moment and says, “I once saw a group of bikers harassing a young woman. I walked right up to the leader and punched him in the face, telling him to leave her alone or he’d have to answer to me!”
Saint Peter is impressed and asks, “When did this happen?”
The man replies, “About five minutes ago.”
3. The Genie and the Three Wishes
A man finds a genie who grants him three wishes.
“For my first wish, I want a billion dollars,” he says.
Poof! A billion dollars appears.
“For my second wish, I want a fancy sports car.”
Poof! A Lamborghini appears.
“For my third wish, I want to be irresistible to women.”
Poof! He turns into a box of chocolates.
4. The Piano Tuner
A man walks into a bar with a suitcase and orders a drink.
Curious, the bartender asks, “What’s in the suitcase?”
The man opens it to reveal a tiny grand piano and a little man, about a foot tall, playing the piano.
The bartender is amazed. “Where did you get this?”
The man replies, “I found a genie who grants wishes. But be careful; he’s hard of hearing. I asked for a twelve-inch pianist, and here we are.”
5. The Blonde Painter
A blonde woman decides she wants to earn some extra money, so she decides to paint the exterior of a house.
She heads to the store, buys some paint, and starts working.
A couple of hours later, she knocks on the door and tells the homeowner she’s finished.
“That was fast! Did you do both coats?” asks the homeowner.
The blonde replies, “Of course! And by the way, that’s a Porsche, not a Coat.”
6. The Farmer and the Sheep
A farmer is driving down the road when he sees a sheep stuck in the fence.
He pulls over, looks around, and sees no one. So, he decides to help himself to the situation.
Just then, a police officer pulls up and asks, “What are you doing?”
The farmer, embarrassed, says, “Just helping a sheep out of the fence, Officer.”
The officer shakes his head and says, “Well, you should have asked. I would have held the fence open for you.”
7. The Professor’s Parrot
A professor walks into a pet store and sees a parrot with a sign that reads, “Parrot repeats everything it hears.”
Excited, he buys the parrot and takes it home.
After a week of the parrot not saying a word, the professor returns to the store and complains.
The store owner asks, “Did you buy the parrot’s cage?”
The professor says, “No, why?”
The owner replies, “Because the cage is soundproof.”
8. The Wisdom of Old Age
A young man sees an old man sitting on a bench and asks, “What’s your secret to a long life?”
The old man replies, “I smoke ten cigars a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, and eat fried food every day.”
The young man is amazed. “That’s incredible! How old are you?”
The old man says, “Twenty-five.”
9. The Talking Frog
A man is walking through the woods when he hears a voice calling him.
He looks down and sees a frog.
“Kiss me,” says the frog, “and I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
The man picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog protests, “Why aren’t you kissing me?”
The man replies, “At my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
10. The Smartest Man in the World
Three men are stranded in a desert: a doctor, a lawyer, and a mathematician.
They find a genie who grants them one wish each.
The doctor says, “I wish to be back in my hospital, saving lives.”
Poof! He’s gone.
The lawyer says, “I wish to be in court, winning cases.”
Poof! He’s gone.
The mathematician thinks and says, “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here with me.”
Poof!
11. The Speeding Ticket
A man is speeding down the highway when he sees flashing lights in his rearview mirror.
He pulls over, and a state trooper approaches his window.
The trooper says, “I’ve been waiting for you all day.”
The man replies, “Well, I got here as fast as I could!”
The trooper, trying to suppress a smile, asks for the man’s license and registration.
“Why were you speeding?” the trooper asks.
“Officer, I’m late for work.”
“Oh, and what do you do?”
“I’m a juggler in a circus.”
“A juggler? Well, that’s interesting. How about you show me what you do?”
The man agrees and gets out of the car, opens his trunk, and takes out some juggling balls.
He begins juggling right there on the side of the road.
Just then, another car speeds by, and the driver looks over, sees the juggling act, and says to himself, “I’m never drinking again! Look at the sobriety test they’ve got now!”
12. The Bear and the Rabbit
A bear and a rabbit are walking through the woods when they find a genie lamp.
They rub it, and a genie appears, offering them three wishes each.
The bear thinks and says, “I wish all the other bears in the forest were female.”
Poof! His wish is granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I had a motorcycle.”
Poof! A motorcycle appears.
The bear, thinking bigger, says, “I wish all the bears in the country were female.”
Poof! The genie grants his wish.
The rabbit says, “I wish I had a helmet.”
Poof! A helmet appears.
For his final wish, the bear says, “I wish all the bears in the world were female.”
Poof! His wish is granted.
The rabbit revs his motorcycle, puts on his helmet, and says, “I wish the bear was gay.”
Then he speeds off into the sunset.
13. The Lawyer and the Genie
A lawyer finds an old oil lamp and decides to rub it.
A genie appears and says, “I will grant you three wishes, but whatever you wish for, every other lawyer in the world will get double.”
The lawyer thinks for a moment and says, “For my first wish, I want a million dollars.”
The genie grants his wish, and every other lawyer in the world gets two million dollars.
“For my second wish, I want a beautiful mansion.”
The genie grants it, and every other lawyer in the world gets two mansions.
“For my third wish,” the lawyer says, “I want to be beaten half to death.”
14. The New Recruit
A young police recruit is taking his final exam.
The last question reads, “You are on patrol when you see a fire in a bakery. Nearby, you see a crowd of people stealing pastries. What do you do?”
The recruit thinks for a moment and writes, “I would call for backup and help myself to a donut.”
15. The Boss and the Employee
An employee approaches his boss and says, “Can I have a day off next week to visit my grandmother? She’s very sick.”
The boss replies, “Of course, you can take a day off. But please remember, when I needed a day off, I had to work hard for it.”
The employee responds, “That’s why I asked my grandmother to get sick.”
16. The Art Thief
An art thief is caught by the police after stealing a famous painting.
In court, the judge asks him, “How could you have done this? You have no previous criminal record, and you seemed like an upstanding citizen.”
The thief replies, “Your honor, I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.”
17. The Marriage Counselor
A husband and wife go to a marriage counselor.
The counselor asks, “What seems to be the problem?”
The wife says, “He takes everything too literally.”
The counselor replies, “Give me an example.”
The wife says, “Well, just the other day, I asked him to pour me a glass of water.”
The counselor looks confused and asks, “And?”
The wife says, “He threw the glass out the window.”
18. The Forgetful Waiter
A man goes to a fancy restaurant and orders a steak.
After waiting a long time, the waiter finally brings it out.
“I’m sorry for the delay,” the waiter says. “Would you like anything else with your steak?”
The man replies, “How about a few kind words?”
The waiter thinks for a moment, then leans down and whispers, “Don’t eat the steak.”
19. The Laziest Man in the World
A competition is held to find the laziest man in the world.
Three finalists are chosen and brought on stage.
The first man is asked, “Why do you think you’re the laziest?”
He says, “Because I’m too lazy to answer that question.”
The second man is asked the same question. He responds, “I’m too lazy to even think about answering.”
The third man doesn’t say anything, just lies on the floor, holding his hand out.
When asked what he’s doing, he says, “Waiting for someone to give me the prize.”
20. The Golfing Priest
A priest decides to skip church one Sunday to play golf.
He sneaks out early in the morning, thinking no one will notice.
Up in heaven, Saint Peter sees this and says to God, “Look at this priest, skipping church to play golf! Shouldn’t he be punished?”
God nods and says, “Don’t worry; I’ll take care of it.”
The priest lines up for his first shot and hits the ball perfectly.
It sails through the air and lands right in the hole – a hole-in-one!
Saint Peter is confused. “I thought you were going to punish him?”
God smiles and says, “Who’s he going to tell?”
21. The Trained Parrot
A man goes to a pet store and buys a parrot.
The store owner warns him, “This parrot was raised in a brothel and has picked up some colorful language.”
The man doesn’t mind and takes the parrot home.
As soon as the parrot arrives, it says, “New house, new madam.”
The man’s daughters come home, and the parrot says, “New girls in the house!”
When the man’s wife comes home, the parrot says, “Hello, Nancy!”
The wife glares at her husband and asks, “Who’s Nancy?”
22. The Hunting Trip
Two friends are out hunting in the woods.
Suddenly, one of them collapses and doesn’t seem to be breathing.
His friend panics and calls 911.
“My friend is dead! What should I do?” he screams.
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s really dead.”
There’s silence, then a gunshot.
The man comes back on the line and says, “Okay, now what?”
23. The Magician and the Parrot
A magician is performing on a cruise ship.
The captain’s parrot watches every show and soon figures out how all the tricks are done.
The parrot starts spoiling the tricks by revealing the secrets.
One day, the ship hits an iceberg and sinks.
The magician and the parrot find themselves on the same piece of driftwood.
The parrot looks at the magician and says, “Okay, I give up. Where’s the boat?”
24. The Farmer’s Invention
A farmer is showing off his new invention to his friends: a pig with a wooden leg.
“Why does the pig have a wooden leg?” one friend asks.
“Well,” the farmer replies, “this pig is special. One night, my house caught fire, and the pig dragged me to safety. He saved my life!”
“Wow, that’s amazing! But why does he have a wooden leg?”
The farmer continues, “Another time, my son fell into the river, and the pig jumped in and pulled him out. Saved his life, too!”
“Incredible! But why the wooden leg?”
The farmer finally says, “Well, when you have a pig that special, you don’t eat him all at once.”
25. The Confused Penguin
A man is driving down the road when he sees a penguin wandering on the side of the highway.
Concerned, he pulls over, picks up the penguin, and takes it to the nearest police station.
The officer at the desk looks at him and says, “Why don’t you take it to the zoo?”
The next day, the officer sees the man walking down the street with the penguin by his side.
He approaches the man and asks, “I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo.”
The man replies, “I did! We had such a great time that today we’re going to the movies!”
26. The Cowboy and the Dentist
A cowboy walks into the dentist’s office and says, “Doc, I’m really nervous. I never liked going to the dentist.”
The dentist says, “Relax, cowboy. What’s the matter?”
The cowboy replies, “Well, I’m scared of the drill.”
The dentist offers him some laughing gas to help calm him down.
The cowboy takes a deep breath and says, “I ain’t got no problem with laughing gas. As long as you don’t use the drill!”
27. The Smart Dog
A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t allow dogs in here.”
The man replies, “But this is a special dog. He can talk!”
The bartender is skeptical and says, “If that dog can talk, I’ll buy you a drink.”
The man turns to the dog and says, “What’s on top of a house?”
The dog barks, “Roof!”
The bartender is unimpressed. “Any dog can bark. Try again.”
The man asks, “What does sandpaper feel like?”
The dog barks, “Rough!”
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, “I’ve had enough.”
Desperate, the man asks the dog, “Who’s the greatest baseball player of all time?”
The dog barks, “Ruth!”
The bartender kicks them out.
Outside, the dog turns to the man and says, “Maybe I should have said ‘DiMaggio’?”
28. The Wise Old Parrot
An old lady goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The shopkeeper shows her a beautiful parrot but warns, “This parrot used to live in a house of ill repute, so it has some interesting vocabulary.”
The lady buys it, thinking she can teach it new phrases.
When she gets home, the parrot looks around and says, “New madam, new house.”
The lady laughs, thinking it’s harmless.
Later, her two daughters come home, and the parrot says, “New girls in the house!”
Later, the husband comes home, and the parrot says, “Hi, Keith!”
29. The Fishing Trip
Two guys decide to go ice fishing.
They set up their gear, cut a hole in the ice, and start fishing.
Suddenly, a voice booms from above: “There are no fish under the ice.”
They look around, but they don’t see anyone.
They move to another spot, cut a hole, and try again.
The voice says, “There are no fish under the ice.”
Spooked, they look around again.
One of them nervously asks, “Is that you, God?”
The voice replies, “No, it’s the ice rink manager.”
30. The Thoughtful Husband
A husband comes home with a duck under his arm and says, “This is the pig I’ve been sleeping with.”
The wife says, “That’s not a pig. That’s a duck.”
The husband replies, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
31. The Engineer’s Exam
An engineer and a scientist are applying for the same job.
The employer decides to test them by asking each one a question.
He asks the scientist, “What is 2+2?”
The scientist immediately replies, “Four.”
Then he asks the engineer, “What is 2+2?”
The engineer thinks for a moment, pulls out a calculator, and after a few seconds, says, “The answer is four, but I can make it three if you want.”
32. The Clever Chicken
A farmer walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender asks, “What’s new on the farm?”
The farmer replies, “I taught my chickens to speak Spanish.”
The bartender is impressed and asks, “How did you do that?”
The farmer says, “Oh, it’s easy. Now they can lay eggs and speak with a Spanish accent.”
33. The Honest Salesman
A man walks into a car dealership and sees a beautiful car.
He approaches the salesman and asks, “How much for this car?”
The salesman says, “This car is free, but there’s one condition: you have to buy the engine.”
The man, confused, asks, “How much is the engine?”
The salesman replies, “The same price as the car.”
34. The Restaurant Complaints
A woman walks into a restaurant and orders the special.
After a few bites, she calls the waiter over and complains, “This food is awful, and the portions are so small!”
The waiter replies, “Well, that’s why it’s the special!”
35. The Speeding Granny
A police officer pulls over an elderly lady for speeding.
He asks, “Do you know how fast you were going?”
The granny replies, “Of course I do. That’s how I got here so fast!”
The officer chuckles and says, “Why were you speeding?”
She responds, “Because I wanted to get there before I forgot where I was going!”
36. The Library Penguin
A penguin walks into a library, waddles up to the counter, and says, “Book, book, book.”
The librarian, amused, gives the penguin three books.
The penguin takes them and leaves.
The next day, the penguin returns with the books and says, “Book, book, book.”
The librarian hands over three more books and decides to follow the penguin to see what it’s up to.
She follows the penguin to a pond, where it hands the books to a frog.
The frog looks at each book and says, “Read it, read it, read it.”
37. The Lost Camel
A man walks into a bar in the desert and asks the bartender for a drink.
While sipping his drink, he notices a camel tied up outside.
“What’s the camel for?” he asks.
The bartender replies, “It’s a special camel. It helps people get back on their feet.”
The man, intrigued, decides to give it a try.
The bartender tells him to stand behind the camel and gives it a firm slap on the rear.
The camel takes off running, and the man chases after it, completely forgetting his troubles.
38. The Late Night Snacker
A husband sneaks into the kitchen late at night and starts eating cookies.
His wife catches him and says, “I thought you were on a diet!”
The husband replies, “I am, but the cookies aren’t.”
39. The Smartest Fish
Two fish are in a tank.
One turns to the other and asks, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”
40. The New Job
A man excitedly tells his friend about his new job.
“I got a great job working for a pool supply company!”
The friend asks, “What do you do there?”
The man replies, “I’m in charge of liquid assets.”
41. The Generous Farmer
A rich businessman is driving through the countryside when he sees a farmer sitting in a field with a pig that has a wooden leg.
Curious, he stops and asks, “Why does that pig have a wooden leg?”
The farmer replies, “That’s a very special pig. One night, our house caught fire, and the pig came running, woke us up, and saved our lives.”
The businessman is impressed but still asks, “But why the wooden leg?”
The farmer continues, “Another time, my son fell into the river, and the pig jumped in and pulled him out.”
The businessman, more impressed, repeats, “But why the wooden leg?”
The farmer explains, “When you have a pig that special, you don’t eat him all at once!”
42. The Lawn Mower
A young boy walks into a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
He says, “Hey, why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licks his cone and replies, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
43. The Forgetful Professor
A forgetful professor leaves a note for his wife: “I’m going out for a walk. If you need me, I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
The professor returns an hour later, and his wife asks, “Where have you been?”
He replies, “I forgot to come back in ten minutes.”
44. The Generous Cowboy
A cowboy rides into town and sees a bunch of people gathered around a gallows.
He asks what’s going on, and someone tells him, “They’re hanging a man.”
The cowboy asks, “What did he do?”
“He stole a horse.”
The cowboy says, “I’ve never stolen a horse in my life, but I’ve ridden a few to death.”
The crowd turns to look at him, and the cowboy quickly adds, “And that’s why I always pay for them upfront!”
45. The Two Priests
Two priests are riding bicycles down a street.
One looks wobbly on his bike, so the other asks, “What’s wrong with your bike?”
The wobbly priest replies, “Someone stole my seat!”
The other priest suggests, “Why don’t you try using some of that holy water you carry? It worked for me once when my bike was acting up.”
The wobbly priest agrees and decides to sprinkle some holy water on his bike.
The next day, the two priests meet again, and the previously wobbly priest is riding smoothly.
The other priest asks, “Did the holy water work?”
The priest replies, “It did! And I even found my seat! It was hidden in the bushes.”
46. The Unlucky Fisherman
A man walks into a bar with a fishing rod and orders a drink.
The bartender asks, “Why the fishing rod?”
The man replies, “I went fishing, but I didn’t catch anything. Not even a bite.”
The bartender says, “That’s too bad.”
The man shrugs and says, “Yeah, but I did reel in a great story for my friends!”
47. The Horse Whisperer
A man is driving down the road when he sees a sign that says, “Talking Horse for Sale.”
Curious, he stops and asks to see the horse.
The farmer takes him to the barn, where the man asks the horse, “Can you talk?”
“Sure can,” the horse replies. “I once won the Kentucky Derby and spent a few years in Hollywood making movies.”
The man is amazed and asks the farmer, “How much for this horse?”
The farmer says, “Ten dollars.”
The man is shocked. “Ten dollars? Why so cheap?”
The farmer replies, “Because he’s a liar. He didn’t do any of that stuff.”
48. The Misunderstood Monk
A monk joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence.
He’s allowed to speak two words every ten years.
After the first ten years, he says, “Bed hard.”
Ten years later, he says, “Food bad.”
Another ten years pass, and he says, “I quit.”
The head monk responds, “I’m not surprised. You’ve been complaining ever since you got here!”
49. The Talking Clock
A man goes to visit his friend and is amazed by a brass gong in the living room.
He asks, “What’s that for?”
His friend says, “That’s my talking clock.”
The man is curious, so his friend grabs a mallet and hits the gong.
A voice from the other room shouts, “It’s 2 AM, you idiot!”
50. The Talented Frog
A man walks into a talent agent’s office with a frog sitting on his shoulder.
The agent says, “What can your frog do?”
The man replies, “Watch this!”
He places the frog on a piano, and the frog plays a beautiful melody.
The agent is amazed and says, “That’s incredible! Let’s make a deal!”
The man says, “There’s more. Watch this.”
He takes out a tiny violin, and the frog starts playing it while singing.
The agent is stunned. “This frog is amazing! You’ll be rich!”
The man grins and says, “I know. But do you want to buy a talking cat instead?”
51. The Hunter and the Bear
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear.
He sees a bear, takes aim, and shoots.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
Suddenly, he feels a tap on his shoulder.
It’s the bear, and it says, “You tried to kill me, didn’t you?”
The hunter nervously nods.
The bear says, “Well, I’m going to give you two choices: I either maul you, or we settle this another way.”
The hunter decides to settle it another way.
After a few minutes, the hunter stumbles out of the woods, angry and embarrassed.
He vows to get his revenge.
The next day, the hunter returns with a bigger gun.
He sees the bear, takes aim, and fires.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
Suddenly, there’s a tap on his shoulder.
The bear says, “You know the drill.”
This goes on for several days.
Finally, the hunter, looking defeated, walks back into the woods with a rocket launcher.
He sees the bear, takes aim, and fires.
When the smoke clears, he feels a familiar tap on his shoulder.
The bear looks at him and says, “You’re not really in this for the hunting, are you?”
52. The Talking Dog
A man goes to a talent show with his dog and says, “My dog can talk!”
The host is skeptical and says, “Okay, prove it.”
The man asks the dog, “What’s on top of a house?”
The dog barks, “Roof!”
The audience laughs, and the host says, “That’s just a bark.”
The man persists and asks, “What’s the opposite of smooth?”
The dog barks, “Rough!”
The host rolls his eyes, and the man asks, “Who was the greatest baseball player?”
The dog barks, “Ruth!”
The host kicks them out.
On the sidewalk, the dog looks up at the man and says, “Maybe I should have said DiMaggio?”
53. The Smart Parrot
A man wants to buy a parrot and goes to a pet shop.
The shopkeeper shows him a parrot and says, “This parrot is very smart. It can speak five languages.”
The man is impressed and asks the parrot, “Can you speak English?”
The parrot replies, “Yes, I can.”
The man asks, “How about French?”
The parrot says, “Oui, je peux.”
The man is amazed and asks, “What other languages can you speak?”
The parrot replies, “Python, Java, and C++.”
54. The Patient and the Doctor
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, I think I’m invisible.”
The doctor looks around the room and says, “Who said that?”
55. The Duck at the Pharmacy
A duck walks into a pharmacy and asks for some lip balm.
The pharmacist asks, “Will that be cash or credit?”
The duck replies, “Just put it on my bill.”
56. The Chicken’s Day Off
A chicken walks into a library, goes up to the librarian, and says, “Book, book, book.”
The librarian gives the chicken three books.
The next day, the chicken returns with the books and says, “Book, book, book.”
The librarian gives it three more books and decides to follow the chicken to see what it’s doing with them.
The chicken goes to a pond, where a frog is sitting.
The chicken hands the books to the frog, and the frog says, “Read it, read it, read it.”
57. The Magic Frog
A man is walking through the woods and hears a voice calling him.
He looks down and sees a frog.
The frog says, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
The man picks up the frog and puts it in his pocket.
The frog says, “Hey! Didn’t you hear me? I said if you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.”
The man says, “Sure, but at my age, I’d rather have a talking frog.”
58. The Genie and the Golfer
A golfer is playing a round of golf when he finds a magic lamp.
He rubs it, and a genie appears.
The genie says, “I will grant you one wish.”
The golfer thinks and says, “I want to be the best golfer in the world.”
The genie snaps his fingers and says, “Granted. Now you’ll play golf better than anyone.”
The golfer smiles and asks, “So I’ll beat everyone?”
The genie replies, “Yes, but you’ll still have to get the ball in the hole.”
59. The Piano and the Dog
A man walks into a bar with a dog and a piano.
He sets the piano down and says, “My dog can play the piano.”
The bartender, skeptical, says, “Show me.”
The man tells the dog to play, and the dog starts playing beautiful music on the piano.
The bartender is amazed and says, “That’s incredible! Why isn’t he famous?”
The man replies, “He only plays classical music.”
60. The Blind Date
A man goes on a blind date and is surprised to find his date is a supermodel.
They have a great time, and at the end of the evening, she leans in and whispers, “I’ll do anything you want.”
The man thinks for a moment and says, “Can you help me clean my apartment?”
